Did You Kill Your Grandpa? (Hot Date)


– So, me and Mandelbaum, right, we see Mandel go into the stalls. So, he’s in a stall. Mandelbaum whips it out and starts pissing all over his feet. Urine. Emily? Emily, it’s impolite
not to listen to a man when he’s talking about
his high school friends. – I’m sorry, I’m just a little distracted. – What’s up? – I think my grandpa might pass away soon. – Oh my god, what happened? – Well, um, while I was driving here,
I got a text from my mom saying Grandpa wasn’t feeling well. Then, I heard a bang, and when I looked up, all I could see was him rolling off the hood of my car. – So, like, you imagined that happening because you were emotional? You didn’t hit your grandpa and kill him with your car? – No, he was alive last I saw. – What did your mom text you? – She said Grandpa
hasn’t been feeling well, so he went for a walk on
the road by this restaurant. – Jesus. – She’s been texting like crazy, but I don’t want to look at
it and find out he’s gone. In my mind, he’s still the big, strong guy who can lift me and all
my cousins over his head, not the fragile old man writhing
in the rear view mirror. I just feel so guilty. – Because you killed him. – Because I was never there. Not when Grandma died, not when we put him in the nursing home, not when he was laid out in the street screaming, “Somebody call the police. “My God, she hit me
and she’s getting away. “She’s a villain.” I really let him down. – Emily, tell me that you
did not hit your grandpa with your car and then come
straight to a restaurant. – Of course not. – Good. – I stopped to pick up wine first. It’s BYOB. – Jesus, Emily. You’re gonna, you’re gonna go away for life. No jury is gonna have mercy on a woman who hit her own grandpa, ran an errand, and then went out to dinner. – Thanks Murph. You’re really making me feel a lot better. – Okay. It’s gonna be okay. You do not have to go down for this. One mistake does not have
to ruin our life together. Murph is gonna make it right, baby. I’m gonna wipe your phone. We’re gonna get rid of the car. I’m gonna delete the text messages. We’re gonna have to I– Wait. Is this your grandpa? – Gramps is feeling better. Will you be home for dessert? You know, I guess I just
got that text from my mom, and my imagination just ran wild. So then, who was that old
guy I hit with my car? – What’s up, the world? From award holders Murph and Emily comes a new web series called Hot Date. – That’s right. It’s gonna be coming to you weekly, and if we play our cards right, maybe we’ll actually win one of these. – Yes. These are other people’s. – These are other people’s. – But we’re holding them, so. Who’s the real winner?

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