– We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it! Keep sucking! – [Linda] Oh, you have to keep sucking. – We got our first chef drunk. Yes! Hey guys, and welcome to Cooking in the Crib with Snooki – And Joey. I have my friend Salty Seattle here,
– Yas queen! – and she’s gonna show us how
to make some gay pride pasta. – Hey hey hey!
– Gay pride pasta! – And it’s actually good for you. So all of the colors, over 25 that I make, come from vegetables,
herbs and superfoods. But, you guys, I’m like jealous, because look at your freaking glasses. – You have to finish that
and then you can be– – You have to chug that. – Yeah. – Take a big chug. No, that’s not big enough, do a big chug. – Yeah, chug it. – Alright, alright, lets do it. – Can we make wine colored pasta? (cheering) – We’re the worst influences.
– Okay, fine. Now you can get a big glass. (cheering) – Now you deserve this, there you go. – And Mer will fill it
the rest of the way up. (bell ringing)
– Mer! C’mon Mer Mer. – My gong is really like- We’re making the pasta! Mer, we’re making the pasta! (upbeat music) – Today we’re gonna
make the rainbow pasta. These are all of the things
that we use to make the colors. So like the red comes from beets, the blue comes from butterfly pea flowers. Can you think of the Latin
name for butterfly pea flower? – Vagina. – God, you’re so freaking close. It’s Clitoria Ternatea. Doesn’t that sound so pretty and classy? – To Clitoria Ternatea. – To Clitoria and Chris. (glasses clink) – I’m gonna make real time, the purple. So, check this out. We’re gonna crack some
eggs into the Vitamix. Then we have some
blueberries and some beets. The whole thing of this is getting your kids to eat vegetables and so then many, many people say, ah, I hate beets. So, we’re turning them into pasta. I’m gonna mix it up. (vitamix whirring) So this is called a dragon fruit. – Drugs. (vitamix whirring) – Mix that up. Isn’t that color amazing? – Yeah, so pretty. – Gonna wash my hands. So we’re starting in the same place now. You have orange, you have
green, I have purple. – We should chug our wine
so it’s not in the way. – Okay. – Ready? Cheers. (burps) – Say cheese.
– I’ll win. – So by chugging the wine, you guys meant literally chugging the wine. – Yeah. – Wow. – My god, you swallowed (beep) – Yeah. (blender whirring) – So we each pour into
our flour, our puree. But like, look how pretty this is. – So I’m red. For period. – Sissy, I think you
know what we need to do. (bell ringing) – [Linda] Oh God, what’s happening? – Who touched that? Oh, oh. – Will you fill us up please? – So that’s so pretty. – Isn’t this fun? – Yeah, it’s great. – We’re so not professional. (wine bubbling) – [Joey] Okay. – Now what, what do I do? – [Mer] You suck, you suck. – Oh, you want me to suck, huh? – When I suck, you suck, we suck. Oh my goodness. – How do I make it stop? (laughing) – [Linda] Does it, does it end? Why can’t it stop? [Snooki] I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding! – It’s coming out! – Isn’t there an end? Isn’t there like a stopper? – [Snooki] It’s not
happening! It’s not stopping! – Keep sucking! Oh! – [Snooki] Oh my God,
you’re gonna get wasted. (laughing) – What the (beep). She just chugged my whole thing. You’re such a good friend. She took it and chugged it for me. – When I saw like the
little carafe earlier, I was concerned that I wasn’t going to have enough wine to drink. – But this bitch chugged my entire drink. – It’s glued on, it’s glued on, man. – Yes, queen! We’re inviting her back. – Okay, back to pasta! – So just like pinch a little ball off like the size of a like a ping pong. – On every color? – Yup, just pinch little balls. Just pinch them. – Oh, honey.
– Just like my husband’s. – Just get in there.
– Blue balls (laughs). – Okay, rolling pin please. – So I’m gonna go like this, I learned this on television. – [Linda] Oh.
– Can we do this in slow-mo? (talking in slow motion) – Otherwise it will stick there, and then you’ll have
a (bleep) up macaroni. – I am going to make these nice and flat. – Can we borrow some money? – Are you rich? – Um. (laughing) – (beep) – Okay. Let’s get in there. – But you have your own cookbook! – Power tools. I do, I have
a new cookbook coming out. – No one’s gonna buy your
book after this, trust me. – No! (Beep) off! – No, they will. – My publisher’s gonna
be like, what the (beep)? – No, okay. Come to me publisher. I’m Snooki. I have 33 million followers. – Girl! (laughing) – Let’s do this, let’s get through there. – I know how to do this.
– [Linda] Okay. – I’m gonna turn it on two. – [Linda] Turn it on. Turn it on. – And this means these
rolling pins are going. – No, there’s nothing in there to mix it. – Yeah, if you do it (beep)! You’re mixing this thing! – You keep it on the
widest setting at first. And then you get narrower and narrower. – It looks like a tongue. (laughing) – They come out looking like tongues. – And then you turn it to. – And wait, we’re gonna do all the colors. – Oh, okay. – Hi, this is my show. Move. (sad music) I’m doing it! I’m doing something. – Alright, we have all of our strips now. How are we going to (beep)
do the orange and the red? – Can you not curse please? You (beep) ass (beep)! We gotta move these people here. – Who said that? – Who has sayin all that? – Alright, we have all of our strips now and now we need to just
a little bit of water to adhere this to this.
– I have a sink! – Joey spit on this. – Here’s some water. When you’re at church you go like this. The father, the son, the holy spirit, and I was like, good thing I
didn’t take a shower today. – Yeah, I do make pasta clothing. So there’s like a hot tub
right in that other room. – Do you really make pasta clothing? – I do, and there’s a hot
tub in the other room. – You do! (laughing) – So here’s how we’re gonna do it. We’re gonna stay in color order. – Wait, I can do this. This is like crafting to me.
– The blue. – [Linda] Yup. – [Snooki] Now I can do this part now. – Okay. Let me show you
how to do this first two and then. – Don’t tell me what to do. This is my show. – Oh my God. – Oh my God! Look at it! We did that! – [Linda] So it’s a rainbow. – Oh my God, it’s like paper. – We made this! – LGBT community, we’re here! This makes me want to be gay. – Okay. Did you go one sinning fetting sinner? – [Joey] Yep.
– (beep) – Oh!
What? (laughing) Sinning fetter?
(laughing) (drunk meter beeping) We got our first chef drunk! Yes! – Actual wine! No! No! – Hey guys, it’s like chefs usually come on television shows
like to promote their thing and get further in life. No one is getting further after this show. – No, you’re all getting (beep). – I’m like, your (beep) is up. – [Linda] Like, it’s like a, boom. – Oh my god, it’s a ‘roni! That’s how you make a ‘roni? – That’s how we make a farfalle!
– [Joey] Bowtie macaroni! – You guys, I just made
a bowtie (beep) ‘roni! – So what’s a real way of making
of making a farfalle pinch? – So, everybody take two in front of them. The double pinch technique goes like this. Thumb in the back, pointer
finger in the middle. – She all too familiar
– Same, hey girl! Try this, it’s good. (retching and laughter) – Moving on! – Okay, so now, we have to cook this! – So we clean up a little bit. I wanna cook it and eat it. Joey would you be willing
to get the hot water? This is not for hungry husbands though, because they’d be so impatient, they’d (bleep)in run out, cheat
on you, and go to Wendy’s. Takin all this time to make (bleep) rainbow pasta.
– And a bacon cheeseburger! – Hell outta here. (glasses clink) – Would you ever do a cooking
show like this before? Where you just get drunk? – This is certainly the
craziest segment I’ve ever done. – [Joey] Good! – Emmy! Hello Emmy. Award winning Emmy. – [Linda] Well, I think we’re ready. – Oh, get the rainbow pasta! – [Linda] Look how pretty it is! – [Joey] Look guys!
– [Linda] Look at that! Look at that! – Oh my god, it looks so pretty! – We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it! Now let’s plate this dish! Look how colorful.
– [Snooki] Yes! Oh my god, it’s a rainbow pasta. – [Joey] Nicole, turn em all
over so you can see the colors. – [Linda] Turn em over pretty! – Can I make Parmesan cheese rain ? – Yep Parmesano! So, I’m adding a little Parmesan Reggiano. This is a cow’s milk cheese.
– Oh it smells so good. – Cheese comes from Italy.
– Yas queen! – Okay, well cheers girls, let’s dig in! – Fork cheers! – Oh my god! – This is so good. – Delicious.
– It’s really good. – [Sooki] Bitch, this is so good! – We took all of these healthy ingredients – And turned it into this!
– All this into this! And I can’t even tell.
– And we turned it into this. – We got clitoris in this (bleep). – Yeah, who knew?
– Like, full on. – It’s so good! Alright, so that was so out
of control, I’m so excited. No, do it again.
(beep) Cheers! – Alright that sucks.
– But for real. – Again! – Pardon! Alright so we’re gonna say goodbye now! We’re gonna enjoy our wine, and
thank you for watching guys! Subscribe! We’re gonna get wasted.