– This is the coffee
you give your stepdad. You know, he tells you to go get a coffee, and you put 15 packets of Splenda in it and like here you go, you dick. (upbeat music) – Today we’re gonna be trying
custom Starbucks drinks. – I love Starbucks. I had a mini addiction to it in college. – You know, I think when
people usually customize their drinks, I assume they’re
trying to be healthier. Like, oh okay we have like non-fat milk or no sugars. – As someone who really likes Starbucks, I’m intrigued to see
what Starbucks beverages I’m not gonna enjoy. And if there are Starbucks beverages that I’m gonna be like, not today Satan. Let’s do it. (upbeat rock music) – I don’t like that there’s a lid on this. Cause I don’t have full eye recognition of what’s gonna be in it. – It smells like some kind of spice? – This smells like a trash fire. – I’m gonna say something that
I can’t believe I’m saying. But that’s not terrible. – What? – It starts out Pumpkin
Spice, which is fine, and then it goes into this really bitter like burnt coffee,
– It tastes… – mixed with medicine. – It’s like you bit into
a rotten pomegranate. – Yeah, exactly. – The 20 shots of pumpkin spice syrup made me like, I don’t
play with demons, okay? I don’t fuck around, that’s disgusting, that’s way too sugary sweet. But, because there are 14 shots in there, this tastes like diesel fuel, which is exactly how I like my coffee. (upbeat rock music) – What’s great about this
is that it used to be iced. (laughter) – It’s cold. – It’s a melted frappuccino by now. – Let’s drink this one. – Okay. – Ugh. – Oh, that’s sweet. – That tastes like a melted hershey bar. – Oh! Okay, this is another one
that started off okay, but there’s so much artificial sweetener or something in here that my tongue is like sticking to the roof of my mouth. (upbeat rock music) – I want to know what type of person wants 12 packets of sugar in their Starbucks? – I feel like this person watches the person make the coffee as well, it’s like I need to make
sure those are 12 packets. – Right, they’re like a hawk.
– Yeah, yeah. – This has to be some like soccer mom ordered this.
– Oh yes! – And just like needs the adrenaline to like put up with her kids.
– Exactly. – I want to know what
their health record is like because this is diabeetus in a drink. (upbeat country music) – It’s a frappuccino, right?
– Yeah, run of the mill. – Yeah it looks like those drinks the kids are always drinking at the mall. – You go to the mall and
there’s like five year olds drinking ventis, it’s ridiculous. – Where are these kids’ parents? – Cheers. – Let’s go for it. Ah. – Ooh this is so good. – I don’t think so. – This is my favorite. – There’s so much sugar in this that it just like, I feel like
it just slid down my throat. – Oh, no! Oh my God! – Tastes like pure caramel. (upbeat rock music) – Just because there is
almond milk in your drink does not mean it’s healthy! – I ate 100 grams of sugar, but by God, I’m gonna put almond milk in there. – You know what, everyone
has a different taste, and I respect that, but
I think once you go over like 10 packets of something, anything, it’s a little too much. – If you’re ordering one of these drinks, the only thing I have to say to you is you need to talk to
a medical professional because something is wrong and or something will get wrong
in the very near future. (upbeat pop music)