Which Malt Liquor Tastes Less Worse? Old English 800 (OE800) VS King Cobra Beer Review.


Whether you’ve wanted to spend a weekend
in the familiar embrace of a wet ditch, or or spend Saturday evening banging the couch
cushions at a friends house- a friend whom you’ll never see again- you might be faced
with a classic dilemma. Should you slum it with the OE 800 or also
slum it with the King Cobra. The second being a premium variety of malt
liquor. It’s a tough decision. Would you rather have your dick chewed off
by a trash panda behind an old dumpster or be fellated by a raccoon while taking out
the recycling. Well that raccoon ain’t getting any calmer,
so let’s find out with a scientific taste test and a food pairing. So let’s take a look at the specs of these
two sirens of the 7-11, calling out to you on a weeknight while we pour. First there’s the King Cobra- the gentleman’s
choice- except of course in the full nude clubs- but that’s what the parking lot’s
for. At 6% ABV, it’ll give you a few extra sips
before gut rot sets in- when compared to other leading brands. Not quite as dark as the king cobra- no infection
yet… just a long day of working in the sun without pissing. If you want the absolute hardest kick in the
nuts you can handle, the Old English is an easy choice. The OE pours a nice golden color reminiscient
of the start of your last UTI. Kinda dehydrated with a kiss of golden sunshine. Pour generously. 42 ounces and an easy guzzling 7.5% ABV it’s
made from a precise ratio of English Leather cologne and whatever that clear fluid is found
on the floor of the drunk tank. And since the bottle is plastic, it can’t
be used as an effective weapon against you if you just won’t stop running your goddamn
mouth. Now with easy to use Cold when blue technology-
when the circle turns white it’s ready to drink. The smell. Hope you brought some extra underwear. First the Old English. Now mind you this is for the 7.5% version,
so notes may vary if your shit luck finds you only have the 5.9 version in your neighborhood. The website says it has some fruity notes. Ok. I get a light sulfer bite, is it hell or the
lingering aroma of firecrackers. I’d emphasize it’s the good kind of sulfur
smell. Maybe toasted is a better word. Toasted alcohol. That’s my final answer. The King Cobra is a bit friendlier on the
nose… I’m sure is not a phase that is spoken often. You get subtle hints of corn water, as in
you’ve boiled a pot of corn and that water thats left over that you pour down the sink. Or a city puddle on a warm afternoon. But most importantly how do they taste and
compare. (Laughing) ok, no one cares. But we’ll do it anyway. Right off the bat the King Cobra, on the middle
of the tounge is the pleasant taste of metallic cob water. When compared to the 7.5% of the OE800, the
6.0% of the King Cobra can be described as smoother- remember it is the premium of the
two. Light beerish even. Have many have you had son, you can accurately
say just one! The OE improves upon the light metal flakes
taste of the King by adding more. Impressive, considering it comes in a plastic
bottle. If there’s any leeching of the plastic it
covers it up quite nicely. You know it occurred to me, some of this could
be the Red Barron. I hope I don’t have to start over. It finishes with a bite of alcohol, foreshadowing
how in about 30 minutes, what ever you’re doing is probably at least punishable by $1000
or one year in jail. And that about does it. If you like these sorts of videos, thank my
patrons. I guess now they’re accessories, by posting
this. Sorry guys we’re all going down together. No rats. Follow me on Instagram. Give this video a thumbs up. Unless you’re the guy who wanted to see
Colt 45 instead of the King. You can suck it. By that I mean the OE. Comment, subscribe, buy a shitty t-shirt. Thanks for watching.

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